Use Your Words....

Sometimes I forget to use my words. Sometimes I don't say things that should be said....not just thought or reflected upon... I think we all do this on some level. Sometimes we wait too long to say what we think or feel about someone. Sometimes we wait too long to let someone know what we have learned from them.....what they have shown us.

One of the things I learned from Mum is there is no such thing as can't. To quote Greg, "There wasn't a whole lotta quit in her." Growing up, I watched how she approached things. If there was something that had to be done, she just did it. It didn't matter if it was sheetrock that needed hanging, a vehicle that needed  repairing (even if you were seven or eight months pregnant),  a fire needing to be put out (literally), electrical work or plumbing that needed to be done. She just figured it out, jumped right in, and did it. 

When I was in second grade, the teacher asked whose mom could make the costumes for our end of school play. It was going to be Winnie the Pooh. My hand shot up as I volunteered my mom to take on this massive project. Not like she didn't already have a million things on her plate, including a bunch of little kids pulling at her legs. I didn't see it that way. I just knew my mum could do ANYTHING. When I went home and excitedly told Mum what a favor I had done for her, she did not let on for one second what I had just done. She did not ask me how I could have done that to her....assigning her such a momentous, burdensome task without even asking her. She never let on how much work I had just loaded on her already very full plate. She showed me grace.

We had a large class and every child needed a costume...which meant there had to be three or four costumes for each character in Winnie the Pooh...only one Pooh though, which was not me....sigh... I was one of the Eeyores. Mum tackled this project like everything else. If she was going to do it, she was going to DO it all the way!  By the time Mum was finished, our class had the most awesome costumes ever. It didn't even blip on my radar, because this was exactly what I expected from her. Now, in hindsight, and especially as a VERY non-crafty person, I am truly in AWE of what she did for my class and me. Thank you, Mum!

Mum and Dad circa 1975

Another lesson Mum and Dad taught us kids by their actions was to be blind to a person's exterior. They taught us to love people for themselves, not the what, how, or why. They taught us to never look at what someone had, said, did, or looked like. They showed us what true acceptance and love looked like. They did not judge others or put themselves in a position of moral superiority. They just loved people. 

One of the greatest life lessons my mother ever taught me was what it meant to live a life of hospitality. It didn't matter if we were in a tent, a 25 foot trailer, a 52 foot long single-wide mobile home, an orange school bus, or a home she helped build with her own sweat...and yes, I am sure at some point, tears. 

Mum has always known how to make people feel welcome in her home. She has always been able to make you feel like there is no other place she would rather you be than right there with her in her kitchen.... whatever form that may take at the time you happened to visit in her life.  It didn't matter if she knew you were coming for weeks, or you stopped by (from 2000 miles away) unexpectedly. She didn't care if it was one of your buddies who had shown up drunk on our doorstep, or a young girl who found out she was going to have a baby and didn't know what to do. It didn't even matter if you had just gotten out of jail. She made you feel loved and at home. 

Mum made you feel like it was the best thing in the world having the extra mouths to feed... waiting for that meal to stretch one mouth further or ten, depending on your family's size. And stretch it would. One thing I became aware of as I was growing up was Mum would wait at mealtimes. She would wait for the rest of us to get our food. She would wait for everyone to have a full plate. This was not a lack of faith that God would provide. It was a mom making sure her kids and anyone else at her table had the food they needed. 

Mum was a living example of faith in God's provision.  She knew it was God's problem to feed the people He brought to our doorstep, not hers. That came from lessons of watching Him in action, providing the food we needed to feed those who came. There were plenty of times when we knew our loaves and fishes had been multiplied. There were plenty of times God provided something out of nothing.

One of the greatest breakfasts I EVER had was when I was about six years old. The boys and I were getting ready for school. I came in the kitchen where Mum was standing with her back to me making our breakfast. When she turned around, I saw the silent tears sliding down her face. I watched as she put a cast iron skillet full of a crazy looking batter into the oven. When it came out, my brothers and I thought our mum had baked us a giant oatmeal cookie for breakfast. We were thrilled!!! It was the most delicious, most special breakfast ever. Little did we know, Mum had put the very last of everything we had for food into that breakfast. She said when she put everything in the bowl, she had no idea what it would be or taste like because she was just using what was left.  God had taken the remnants of our cupboards and had turned them into something delicious....something that afterwards I would long for just a taste of again... that special breakfast one more time. I remember asking her after that if we could please have one of those giant oatmeal cookies for breakfast. 

Mum with one of the many babies she delivered.

Through the years Mum has touched more lives than we can possibly comprehend. She helped families bring their babies into the world. She has given comfort to families who have lost a child. She has shown acceptance and love to many a woman who felt rejected, hopeless, and alone. She has fed the hungry, clothed the needy...even when we were needy...she has given when we had nothing to give. She opened her home to those who had no home. She has shared her food when she had no food to share. She has been a friend to the friendless. She has been a shoulder and an ear to the broken and weary.

When I reflect on the gifts God has granted each one of us in our lives, one of the gifts I need to give thanks for is the gift of my mother who taught me so much. Thank you, Lord...and thank you, Mum.

Mum and me - 2012